The Monstersseur

Before the glorious gaseous globe of light reaches its afternoon apex. Before summer heat is visible and permeable, oozing off the asphalt jungle floor. Before the world is fully aware that the week has begun anew, and there is very little consternation about the next dewy morning, there is a time for a meal. And that meal my friends, is brunch.

Perhaps the most unappreciated meal of the modern era, the Sunday brunch is the perfect time to explore flavor combinations that would ordinarily be ignored. It’s not early enough to be breakfast, but it’s not late enough to be considered lunch, so there are some really intriguing possibilities opened up by the in-between time typically celebrated by the most posh and educated. Never one to go far without a Monster Energy drink in hand on a Sunday morning, we were quite surprised to find that the perfect compliment to the Rehab: Tea + Lemonade flavor was the simple chocolate delight, the Kit Kat bar.

While there are few people who understand the appeal of a meal that sits between time, between the ticks of a clock’s second hand, swaying the hours away in its most calculated effort, those who do are eternally grateful for the the brief respite from what has become cultural normalcy. How many people can say they eat a balanced breakfast or lunch? Most are simply too busy with the dalliances of the day-to-day to notice. But the perfect sustenance is within their grasp. They must merely concede to the fact that there is indeed time to indulge. Time to wash the ethereal ghosts of the workday life away with a mere drink and a quick nosh. Nay. Monster Rehab is no mere drink, nor is the Kit Kat bar a mere nosh.

The perfect pairing of these two delectable indulgences came to me almost as an accident. Though, to call such a harmonious union of flavors an accident would not be fair to the food gods who made such an angelic accompaniment so very possible. Milton S. Hershey himself could not have foreseen the dramatic explosion of flavors rendered so possible by his invention of the aforementioned Kit Kat bar. How could he have known such a simple combination of milk chocolate and wafers would elicit such a response from the taste buds when complimented by the brisk, crisp notes that combine to create Monster Rehab? Unless he himself is a savant consigned to travel through the waves of time himself, he could not my friends.

Of course, to call the combination of milk chocolate and wafer “simple” isn’t fair to the confectionery architects that put as much time, effort, and love into the structure of a single, solitary Kit Kat bar as one would were he creating a new glass palace with which to touch the sky. But of course, the real conduit for the successful matrimony of flavor is of course the Monster Rehab. The beverage’s lemonade and tea shares a symbiotic relationship with the chocolate, perfectly balanced out by the acutely measured energy concoction that only Monster’s chief liquid scientists understand. As the full-bodied flavors combine, there is little left to do but concede your inhibitions to the moment, and enjoy these ever fleeting moments of pure bliss.

When all is said and done, the mind, heart, and most importantly, soul will be as one. A true accomplishment many religious movements still strive to create today. It’s amazing then that such a sought after ascension is accomplished by the melding of the versatile Monster Rehab: Tea + Lemonade and Sir Hershey’s own perfect candied combination.